So, yesterday we went to see the Cardiologist. Everything is going well . Since she was born, she has gained 4 ounces and has grown 3 inches! The Doctor said that we can expect to see her heart weaken over the next 4 to 6 months, anticipating the surgery around 5 months. In the meantime, they need her to continue to gain more weight before then. In order to do that we will be adding more high calorie formula to the breast milk bottles. Erin is a little disappointed to not be able to nurse her directly but knows this is the best thing for her. If for any reason Taylor is not gaining the weight she should, she would then need the mini surgery to help her get to the 5 month mark. We are hoping that won't be necessary.
I can tell you that God has continued to provide Erin and I strength through this. He has truly taken away our sadness. It is an unexplainable peace and joy we have for little Taylor! We know that He is in control and will use her life for His glory. Everyday our love grows for her. We just want to take it one step at a time, not looking too far ahead, knowing God will provide.
Hayden and Ava thinks she's the greatest. Ava thinks that she is her baby. Now if we could just keep her from squeezing her too hard! We are on constant "Ava Watch". Taylor acts and seems like any other newborn baby, though we hardly ever hear her cry. We all think she has the cutest little wail. She definitely sleeps a lot due to being a newborn and her busy heart. When she's awake, she is really alert and wide eyed... so cute.
Erin and I are still amazed when we think back and reflect on our decision to even have another baby. We had been praying about another baby before hand ..."Should we have another? Should we not?" ... 5 months...nothing. I then lost my job. Then one week after being hired on with a new job, we then found out Erin was pregnant. We were so excited, certain this was God's blessing (another child and a job to provide).
Never did we imagine anything less than our standards of "healthy" when it came to another baby. We are still amazed that this is real and it's all okay. Just knowing that God knew of Taylor all along and she is here, made it so clear to us His love and plans for her. How quickly we forget that we are not guaranteed anything. We live in a fallen world, filled with imperfections. Thinking about this reminded me of a scripture in Proverbs 16:9- "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps". Thanks God for the reminder! I am so quick to forget that I am not in control...God is. We want nothing less than to be in His will. I will continue to praise Him for all He has done for us! We are learning to be content in all of our circumstances, knowing that whatever may come, we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
"Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him! ... ...He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. "